Posted by Adam @ 8:05 am on June 28th 2014

Kill the bees. Later

It’s clear that bees are scum who must each die a thousand deaths (which is a satisfyingly large total of bee deaths, aggregated across the total bee population) but that is not to say that they do not have their uses. Reports of bees and snakes driving Boko Haram out of forest stronghold illustrate that even the most appalling of creatures can occasionally fight towards the cause of good. By accident, say, or as part of a power struggle amongst the forces of evil.

If it were just Boko Haram and bees in there, of course, one might favour more robust area-effect solutions, but we must mercifully stay our hand where the area is shared with others. This is not — far from it — an endorsement of the stripy menace, any more than feeding Chicago-style pizza to your enemies is an endorsement of the culinary abomination, but a statement of necessity. We can always kill the bees afterwards, in any case.

And we should. The Bees Must Die.

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