Posted by Brad @ 12:59 pm on May 19th 2011

My Manifesto

I think the Onion meant this to be funny, but I pretty much could have written it in all seriousness.

Fiscally I’m A Right-Wing Nutjob, But On Social Issues I’m Fucking Insanely Liberal

The world is a complicated place, and in this day and age, you just can’t expect a person to fall on the same political side of every issue he is confronted with. Things are more nuanced than that, and the average American might think one way about one topic, and a completely different way about another. For instance, when it comes to fiscal issues, I consider myself to be a rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth, right-wing lunatic. But on the social front, I’m a completely out-of-his-mind, wacked-out liberal loon.

It’s all about striking a balance, really.

Sure, the columnist and I disagree a bit on specifics…

All Americans should spend four hours of every workday erecting elaborate temples in which to worship our omnipotent homosexual overlords, and we all must sacrifice ourselves willingly upon the altar of the gay and lesbian community, everyone of us, including children, who, by the way, I think should be eligible to drink, drive, and vote from age four on up.

However, if those same children get sick, then I believe it is their sole responsibility to pay for their own health care.

…but we’re in the same ballpark.

1 Comment »

  1. I’m sure someone has pointed out the rising phenomenon of having to find the political truths in satire. It’s a pretty bleak state of politics.

    At some point I expect comedians to reap massive laughter just reading up from the constitution.
    -We, the people..
    -LOOOOOOL

    Comment by fred — 5/20/2011 @ 4:22 am

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