Posted by Brad @ 3:45 pm on November 6th 2009

Sex, Lies, and Social Conservative Videotape

Carrie Prejean sued pageant officials for stripping her of her Miss California crown in June. Officials said it was because of racy lingerie shoots she did which violated her contract. Prejean claimed it was political retaliation for her anti-same sex marriage views, and went on a number of publicity tours touting the claim. Pageant officials then launched a catty non sequitur countersuit, demanding their money back from Prejean’s breast implants (why pageants are in the business of subsidizing breast implants is a question left unanswered) and any proceeds from her book (out next week!). Prejean then counter-counter-sued on the grounds that telling people she had breast implants violated her privacy. Pageant officials then revised their justification for stripping her of her crown, claiming it was actually because she was kind of a bitch. And lo, many lawyers doth profited.

It looked like the runaway litigious passive-aggressive train had left the station and would careen down the tracks forevermore, until pageant officials got their hands on a sex tape starring Prejean (and only Prejean) at which point all lawsuits were immediately and quietly settled.

Sadly, that means we won’t get to see the Most Entertaining Supreme Court Case Ever, and thus endeth our saga.


  1. It’s amazing that feminists aren’t more supportive of beauty pageants. Buying women new tits to better fill out bikinis, loudly suing for said implants, threatening with sex tapes. . . this screams Girl Power.

    Comment by Liz — 11/8/2009 @ 11:16 am

  2. Her media tour for her book starts with Sean Hannity, who manages to try his best to re-legitimize her. I particularly like the first minute or so when Sean tries to play it light but winds up coming off as vaguely creepy. “So…you were a teenager? Well, I think it would be a bad move if I made a sex tape, but if you made a sex tape? I kid, I kid…how about those liberals?”

    Comment by Brad — 11/11/2009 @ 2:28 pm

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