Posted by Jack @ 7:14 pm on June 26th 2009

Dan Froomkin: We are prepared to make a generous offer

I hired someone today. I was given ridiculously wide leeway and authority by the rather large corporation for which I am a lackey to effect a hiring action, so I collected resumes, worked with our corporate recruiters, determined salary and compensation limits, conducted phone interviews, ranked candidates, conducted in person interviews, and made the offer, which was accepted. It was the first time I have ever done this, and I am drunk with power. Therefore:

Mr. Froomkin,

Various internet sources have advised The Crossed Pond staff that you are no longer under contract with the Washington Post, and that your departure from that organization occurred under somewhat controversial circumstances. As a reader of your column, and a fellow internet-based journalist of sorts, I was quite distressed to hear of your unfortunate change in employment status. Fortuitously, The Crossed Pond is seeking a high profile, opinion making journalist with internet experience from the DC area, and all indications are that you meet our requirements. Accordingly, I am prepared to wave our normal screening process and make a generous offer for your services. I think you will find this difficult to turn down. In exchange for an approximately daily article (with specific frequency subject to negotiation) addressing subjects similar to your Washington Post White House Watch column, we are prepared to offer the following:

– Complete editorial independence. We will never spike your column, or pressure you into reducing your criticism of anyone, particularly the media establishment.

– Guaranteed front page status. Your columns will appear at the very top of our online publication within seconds of your submission.

– Editorial influence over our highly selective group of internet journalist partners list. You may designate at least four, possibly more, of your preferred online journalistic “fellow travelers” to be highlighted as a partner, or “blogroll link,” on the prestigious Crossed Pond list.

– Category selection. You will have complete independence in selecting your categories, or tags, for your article submissions.

– Research assistance. Our interactive TCP group is standing by to provide some kind of response to any areas for which you seek assistance. This is particularly useful if you are looking for a particularly sarcastic answer.

– I invite my fellow TCP staff members, as well as our extensive readership, to highlight or recommend other staff benefits.

I think you will agree this is a rather extraordinary, perhaps even once in a lifetime, opportunity. We can discuss the details, such as monetary compensation, at a later date. As a show of mutual good faith, I invite you to submit an (original) sample article to us at your convenience, primarily to demonstrate our willingness to publish you work immediately and without editorial interference. I hope you will take the time to consider our generous offer, and respond to our Journalistic Integrity Recruitment Group at thecrossedpond “at” gmail.com I hope that the much anticipated announcement of your future plans on White House Watch will conclude with a triumphant “Read my latest at The Crossed Pond!

In professional admiration,

Jack
Corporate Excess Officer
The Crossed Pond

5 Comments »

  1. So, did he get back to you via his Raspberry?

    Comment by James — 6/26/2009 @ 9:51 pm

  2. Not yet, but he is no doubt mulling it over. But just in case, I’m thinking one of you that actually knows the password to our gmail account should send him our offer.

    Comment by Jack — 6/26/2009 @ 9:54 pm

  3. Don’t forget to mention that he’ll have the power to edit comments as well.

    Comment by Jerrod — 6/27/2009 @ 12:21 am

  4. Then again, maybe he wouldn’t.

    Comment by Jerrod — 6/27/2009 @ 12:21 am

  5. Man, thats just not fair. How come Dan Froomkin can edit comments but I can’t?

    Comment by Jack — 6/27/2009 @ 12:23 am

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