Posted by James @ 5:30 pm on July 16th 2008

Mitt the Mood Ring

Being the astute observer that I am, I have detected a trend. At first I thought it was my imagination or some sort of lighting trickery, but I have concluded that Mitt Romney has made some very serious progress in unseating George Hamilton as the tannest white male in the world. I also have suspicions that this is related to efforts he is making to become McCain’s running mate, and possibly the first black vice president in US history.

If you study the chart below, you will see that his complexion maintained a relative Ken doll-esque stability during his primary run. It was not until McCain clinched the nomination that one observes a steep climb in the melanin content in his skin.

Mitt Chart

My extensive research into this phenomenon has yet to uncover the reason for this dramatic cutaneous shift on the part of Mr. Romney. It could be some sort of defense mechanism or, more likely, a form of reverse camouflage that allows him to stand out when in the presence of John McCain who, as it so happens, would be invisible if he ran naked through a snow storm. Whatever it is, the closer to the VP pick D-day it gets, the tanner he gets. Either there is some correlation here or Mitt Romney has mistaken Coppertone® for body wash.

I will continue to monitor this very important situation and report any other clues my acute and discerning mind uncovers. They don’t just pay me to look good, they pay me to THINK!


  1. And Crist, who is already Hamiltonian (in his tan), just keeps getting straighter.

    It’s like they’re all regressing to some kind of mean. That mean obviously being Billy Dee Williams.

    Comment by Brad — 7/16/2008 @ 5:39 pm

  2. Ha! I knew I was on to something!

    Comment by James — 7/16/2008 @ 5:54 pm

  3. OMG that is hilarious! Billy Dee Williams was a decent lookin’ man, or possibly still is, who knows.
    But I would cast my vote for the “golden mean” to Mario Van Peebles. Can Mitt look like Mario with a little more mantan & a permanent wave? Doubtful, dawg. Stay tuned for the next installment of James’ Mitt The Mood Ring.


    Comment by TisHerself — 7/16/2008 @ 9:31 pm

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