Posted by Jack @ 6:41 pm on March 11th 2008

Oklahoma Rep makes a play for America’s Next Top Bigot

Having taken a few shots at the anti-gay bigots running rampant in America’s most closeted state, it is important to remind myself that the crazy, she is at home in the Midwest as well. Take a listen to Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern’s breathtakingly inane comments regarding the dreaded homosexual agenda.

Let’s break down the transcript, because each line is its own special package of head trauma loony:

The homosexual agenda is destroying this nation, okay? It’s just a fact.

Clearly, Sally’s definition of fact and opinion differ from mine. Also, I can’t hear her without thinking of the South Park guidance counselor, mkay?

Not everybody’s lifestyle is equal, just like not all religions are. You know, the very fact that I’m talking to you like this here today puts me in jeopardy, okay?

Yes! Extra bonus points for imaginative use of Hugh Hewitt’s I’m-in-mortal-danger-sitting-in-a-famous-New-York-building gambit, but taken to hillbilly extreme. She is in danger, she is taking a risk by even speaking these ideas, because we are all aware of the eagerness with which gays suicide bomb their enemies. Or cattily critique their wardrobe. She could possibly become the victim of a drive by makeover. And regarding the life style and religions not being equal theory, is there not some historically relevant document that suggests otherwise?

And I’m not anti- and I’m not gay bashing,

Let’s come back to this in a minute.

but according to God’s Word, that is not the right kind of lifestyle.

Translation: According to my preferred interpretation of my particular religious sect, and referencing this very old book, my imagined omnipotent creator of all things in the universe erred quite badly when he made teh gay. And he is quite concerned about who does the wanky wanky with whom.

It has deadly consequences for those people involved in it. They have more suicides, they’re more discouraged, there’s more illness, their lifespans are shorter, you know, it’s not a lifestyle that is good for this nation.

Awesome. Someone has been reading their autographed copy of frequently discredited social researcher, Paul Cameron.

As a matter of fact, studies show that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than, you know, a few decades.

This just intrigues me. Can we name one of these societies please? Is she possibly talking about Atlantis?

So it’s the death knell for this country. I honestly think it’s the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam, which I think is a big threat.

We have surpassed self-parody. The death knell. A greater threat than terrorism. I have nothing to add.

Because what’s happening now, they’re going after, in schools, two year olds! Do you know what they’re trying to get into early childhood education? They want to give our young children into the government schools so they can indoctrinate them. I taught school for close to twenty years. And we’re not teaching facts and knowledge anymore folks. We’re teaching indoctrination, okay? And their going after our young children, as young as two years of age to try to teach them that the homosexual lifestyle is an acceptable lifestyle.

First, I think this is social conservative speak for “they are pedo’s who want to molest our children,” but others might feel that interpretation is unkind. Given the frequency with which social conservative politicians and leaders casually conflate homosexuality with pedophilia, necrophilia, and bestiality, I hardly think it a stretch to assume our girl Sally is doing the same thing. But if I give her the benefit of the doubt, she is at a minimum highly concerned that those public “government” schools might teach toleration at a young age. Can’t have that.

You know, gays are infiltrating city councils. Did you know, Eureka Springs, anybody been there, the passion play? Okay, have you heard that the city council of Eureka Springs is now controlled by gays? Okay? There are some others, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; Takoma, Maryland; Kennsington, Maryland; in Vermont, Oregon, West Palm Beach, Florida; in a lot of other places in Florida. What’s happening? They are winning elections.

Oh god no! They can vote? They can run for office? Jesus, Mary and Joseph we must take action! Seriously, when you substitute “infiltrated” for “successfully run for public office” you are outside of any reasonable discussion. Some more accurate examples of infiltration would be the surprisingly frequent occurrences of self-loathing closeted GOP gays who actively campaign under a family values rubric. Also, if this is happening in Florida, my Florida, then rock on.

One of the things I deal with in our legislature, I tried to introduce a bill last year that would notify parents, schools had to let parents know what clubs their students were involved in. And the reason I did that bill primarily was this: We have the gay-straight alliance coming into our schools. Kids are getting involved in these groups, their lives are being ruined, their parents don’t know about it. So I introduced a bill, you have to notify all clubs and things.

I want to see evidence for this supposed trend of kids having their lives ruined by these gay-straight alliances coming into (infiltrating!) our schools. Hell, show me one example. My bet is we will actually see a teenager who has learned a powerful, useful, and life affirming lesson about dissent, free speech, and toleration. My bet is we will see a student who confronted inane bigotry. My bet is that any life ruined was as a result of these same sick bigots.

And one of my colleagues said you know, we don’t have a gay problem in my county, that’s why I voted against that bill. Well you know what? To me that is so dumb. If you got cancer or something in your little toe, do you say, you know, I’m just going to forget about it because the rest of me’s fine. It spreads, okay? And this stuff, it’s deadly and it’s spreading and it will destroy our young people, it will destroy this nation.

Surreal. The mere presence of gays represents “a problem” which may be equated to cancer. Gay = devastating disease. Got it. But doesn’t that kinda make it God’s fault?

I promised to return to this: “And I’m not anti- and I’m not gay bashing,”

Summing up Sally’s rant:
Gays are destroying the nation. Gays are worse than terrorists. Gays are like cancer. I shall repeat lies about health consequences of being gay to support my otherwise empty rhetoric. Gays are so bad that my speaking like this places me in danger. God is not cool with the queers. Societies have perished because of the gays. If they get elected, it should be called “infiltration.” I’m not gay bashing.

OK then. Via Box Turtle Bulletin

1 Comment »

  1. Excellent work. Rojas has a rival in his dissection of Midwest Crazy (like Austin Weird without being deliberate).

    Comment by Adam — 3/11/2008 @ 7:27 pm

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