Posted by Mark @ 12:49 pm on November 29th 2007

Prosaic? Hardly!

Counterstrike, it is not.

Ever had dreams of being the Head Grounds keeper at a stately home? Well now you can realise that dream and more! Lawnmower Simulator 2007 allows you to mow the most beautiful lawns in Britain.

In career mode, impress your employer with straight lines and artistic mowing patterns to earn bigger and better lawnmowers and upgrades to your tea shed. Each lawnmower can be fully customised – anything from a new Electric Blue paint job, to engine upgrades and sportier gear ratios on the deluxe ride-on models for increased mowing speed.

In Multiplayer mode, go head-to-head with your rivals in the Stadium Challenge! Both players take half a football pitch and points are awarded for speed and artistic creativity. Points are deducted for messy lines and areas of turf left uncut. In Extreme Multiplayer you will face the extra challenge of defending your artistic creation from sabotage by your opponent and those pesky footballers. Dispatch them by spraying grass cuttings at them before they make divots with slide tackles or, if close enough, mow them down!

Of course, we can only hope that any of our readers back in dear old blighty will pop into the gaming section the next time they are in their local Tesco supermarket and pick up a copy.

Presumably the X-rated certificate attached the game refers to a “Hot Coffee” unlockable mini game.

My English blood is aboil over the possibility of such an exciting combination of lawn mowing and simulated sex!

Of course, subtitles may be needed for anyone south of the Watford Gap:

Language: English (Scouse)

All credit to The Register for this breaking story.

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