Posted by Adam @ 12:26 pm on February 21st 2007

Lou Dobbs’ ego now blocking the sun

I normally avoid reading Lou Dobbs in the way that I avoid rabid animals or Chicago-style pizza, but I did accidentally click on an article entitled Will the Democrats Save their Souls?. Intrigued by his assumption that Democrats have souls, I started reading only to be arrested, a scant four paragraphs in, by this, to which I have added emphasis:

The ascension of the so-called Lou Dobbs Democrats in the November election gave hope to many that our representatives and senators were awakening to the need to represent the largest single group of voters in the country, 150 million working men and women and their families. The reality is, however, corporate America and special interests still dominate our legislative and electoral process.

My heart beat fast. Was my stomach about to hurl itself out of my mouth? Would my hands climb to my neck and wring it, to make the pain, the unbelievable pain, go away? I glanced nervously around to ensure that there were no sharp objects within easy reach.

After taking these responsible steps to ensure my continued physical integrity, I read on. At the end, the sweet, sweet, blessed end, he states that: “The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of the writer.” False modesty. But if only, if only it were true.

However. Back to Lou and His Enormous Ego.

Jesus wept, Lou. Have you no shame? I’m sure that, yes, some people have described some of the newly elected Dems as ‘Lou Dobbs Democrats’, although surely as an insult*. Why, though, did your internal filter not warn you against writing of ‘Lou Dobbs Democrats’ yourself and then claiming that these ‘Lou Dobbs Democrats’ are the living and breathing avatar of the hopes and dreams of 150 million Americans? Do you not realise, Lou (do you mind if I call you ‘Lou’?) what an utter tool this makes you appear?

Lou, you look like a kindly blustering great-uncle, not the sort that offers to babysit for nefarious sexual gain but rather the sort whose cheeks are permanently puffed out from more years of sputtering over-verbose and poorly derived opinions than anyone has been willing to listen, but everyone loves him anyhow. But it’s a lie; you’re a bore no one can love, Lou. The trick that I use myself, what we sometimes in the IT World call a ‘power user tip’, is to let everyone else talk about how great you are, whilst you practice your modest denial non-denial. And yes, you have to be patient. Very patient. More patient than you might have originally thought. Much more patient than that. But, Lou, by the time they get around to saying that stuff, think about how good my your denial non-denial is going to be!

And yes, then we’ll make them pay. Oh, oh, how they’ll pay.

*I have recently learnt of a ‘search engine’ called ‘google’. Typing ‘Lou Dobbs Democrats’ into it produced a slew of references to this article by Jacob Weisberg. It is an open question as to whether Weisberg meant the term as an insult. I shall also handwrite a letter to Ted Stevens to tell him of this ‘google’. It could save the internets.

9 Comments »

  1. Best. Post. Ever.

    Comment by Brad — 2/21/2007 @ 2:19 pm

  2. Wait until Brad finds out that I’m using his password.

    Comment by Adam — 2/21/2007 @ 4:08 pm

  3. Between the Hillarocket and Lou Dobbs’ ego, it’s been a bad week for the sun.

    Comment by Rojas — 2/21/2007 @ 5:23 pm

  4. The irony, of course, is that Dobbs isn’t exactly wrong about the label. When we describe people who advocate economic protectionism and radical restrictions on immigration, and who use those as levers to attempt to unseat “pro-corporate” Republicans, one might as easily call them “Lou Dobbs Democrats” as anything else.

    Though I myself would choose the term “populist dingbats”.

    Comment by Rojas — 2/21/2007 @ 7:09 pm

  5. Good post, Adam. Dobbs is crazier than a shit house rat at this point. As I have told you, was not always such (at least overtly) until his brief hiatus from CNN where he left his reputation for being a fairly decent money guy behind to seek the riches of the internet boom by hitching his wagon to a star, literally. He was heavily involved with Space.com.

    Apparently, that did not pan out so well or somethig (I don’t know the details), so he he has returned to operate what could arguably be called OurSpace.com on CNN.

    I don’t know what happened along the way, but he sure as hell lost something in space along the way.

    Comment by Yank Crank — 2/21/2007 @ 7:26 pm

  6. […] On Lou Dobbs’ program Monday (with an added benefit: no Lou Dobbs): […]

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  7. […] Fred Barnes, whatever stuff by Jack Kelly that I see linked at RCP and I’ve even read a Lou Dobbs article. Imagine my surprise, therefore, when from out of (far) right field came David Warren with this […]

    Pingback by The Crossed Pond » The Worst Article Ever? — 3/5/2007 @ 2:05 pm

  8. […] ‘Lou Dobbs Democrats’, without being a euphemism for ‘moron’. posted in: […]

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  9. […] I’ll come to that in another post a little later. My first port of call, however, is my old favourite, Lou Dobbs. He keeps it a dignified secret, but Lou has a bit of a problem with immigration and […]

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